10 Great White House Correspondents’ Dinner Jokes



What’s known as the Oscars for the Washington, D.C. crowd, the annual White House Correspondents Dinner, took place last night with ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel serving as host. The clips above show his and President Barack Obama’s speeches where they go after pretty much everyone in the room (including each other).

And for those who desire some red-carpet action, take a look at The Hollywood Reporter’s gallery.

Obama’s 5 best jokes:

  • “In my first term, we passed health care reform. In my second term, I guess I’ll pass it again.”
  • “Four years ago, I was locked in a brutal primary battle with Hillary Clinton. Four years later, she won’t stop drunk-texting me from Cartagena.”
  • “Now, some have said I blame too many problems on my predecessor, but let’s not forget that’s a practice that was initiated by George W. Bush.”
  • “Recently, [Romney’s] campaign criticized me for slow-jamming the news with Jimmy Fallon. In fact, I understand Governor Romney was so incensed he asked his staff if he could get some equal time on ‘The Merv Griffin Show.'”
  • “I have a lot more material prepared, but I have to get the Secret Service home in time for their new curfew.”

Kimmel’s 5 best jokes:

  • To Obama: “I know you won’t be able to laugh at my jokes about the Secret Service. Please cover your ears, if that’s physically possible.”
  • “Sully, will you do us a favor? Will you drive Lindsay Lohan home? Just make sure you don’t run into a goose, and make sure it isn’t a gray goose.”
  • To Obama: “Remember when the country rallied around you in hopes of a better tomorrow? That was hilarious.”
  • To Chris Christie: “I think you’re misunderstanding New Jersey’s slogan. It’s not the Olive Garden state.”
  • “Eric Cantor can’t be here tonight, he’s at the gym working on his gavel arm.”

Did I miss any?

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