Blame Obama’s Win On Sexy Clooney

 

I felt confident throughout Election Day. President Barack Obama would win a second term; you knew it just by reading Nate Silver’s forecasts. As Ohio started looking more blue than red and CNN finally called it, not by saying that Obama would win the state, but by simply announcing that he had won the White House for the second time, I felt tired, relieved and giddy. The week that followed his reelection has been fascinating, especially the realization that conservatives in general, including Governor Mitt Romney’s campaign, actually believed that all the facts were “wrong”, that they were headed for victory in spite of the polls. People like Dick Morris, who had openly scoffed at Nate Silver and predicted a Romney landslide humiliated himself on Twitter very publicly as his predictions turned out to be false… and then went silent. Reports from behind the scenes painted a picture of Romney and Paul Ryan as genuinely shocked. Newt Gingrich flatly declared that he was “wrong” and that Republicans need to think hard about how to face the future.

Obama ended up winning all battleground states, capturing 332 electoral votes over Romney’s 206; unlike what many polls told us, this wasn’t even a close election. The debate now rages within the GOP over what lessons should be learned. The CNN clip above is interesting because it shows a relative moderate like Jon Huntsman feeling empowered and a dinosaur like Gary Bauer on the defensive. “People don’t want to be moralized to”, as Huntsman puts it, making Bauer look very uncomfortable. The fact of the matter is that the angry, old white man as a base is dying, even though Bauer refuses to believe it. Times change, and if the GOP wants to be a part of the future it needs to embrace women and minority groups. That means stop endorsing idiots like Todd Akin and Richard Mourdock, stop harassing gays and start talking about immigration reform in a serious, humanistic way. In other words, turn into a modern European-style conservative party. Sure, voters may not like that. But they sure as hell don’t like the current GOP either.

I don’t envy the Republican Party; they’re trapped in a catch-22 situation (because after all, the nation does not need a second Democratic Party either) and the civil war has only begun. One of the most amusing symptoms of what ails them comes from ridiculously rightwing groups like the American Family Association whose leaders recently said that the reason why so many women voted for Obama was because George Clooney supports the President and, apparently, his sexual powers are so strong that women will automatically vote for anyone Clooney supports. I’m sure that these guys long for the good old days before 1920 when women didn’t have the vote. Amazing. The video at the top of this entry is a tribute to Clooney’s sexual magnetism. Make sure no womenfolk watch it cause you never know what they might do…

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